Tuesday, February 6, 2007

The Rollercoaster

One thing I've heard about from many PCVs is the emotional rollercoaster you ride from the moment you arrive in-country, sometimes before. My friend Margaret, who I met just as I was beginning the application process, has described her feelings as changing daily, if not hourly.

I am definitely on the rollercoaster.

A few nights ago, I awoke in the middle of the night in a near panic. The fact of leaving, saying goodbye, living in a foreign country for 2.25 years, trying to fit in to a community and effect change a the same time...it all felt so enormous. I felt like I was being crushed by it.

Another day, I spent the whole afternoon listening to melancholy music and dwelling on the fact that I was sad about leaving my friends, my family, my wonderful City.

But today, I feel pretty good. Excited even. The day is drawing near, and more than anything I just want to get started. Part of me is still overwhelmed, and part of me is still sad. I'm sure those parts will take over my mental state again (and again, and again) from time to time. But for now, I just want to get over there and get started.

1 comment:

Nicole said...

Hey Raphael, just to let you know, you are not alone I, as I am sure many others, have had the exact same feelings this past week or so. It will be great to finally start this experience. See ya in D.C.!